one month...down

We have at least some what of a landmark on this deployment, one month down. I cannot believe how quickly it went by, i mean each day was slow as molasses, but for some reason looking back it seemed to go pretty quick. It would have a lot to do with the fact that I am very blessed to be able to talk to him via email every other day at least, which has really been wonderful. I am attached to my phone all day long until that one email comes and then I grin from ear to ear for awhile, and then its back to the normal life of classes and work. I have 8 days of classes (including finals) and 10 days total of school left until summer, which I guess could be another minor landmark. Anything to keep me going day to day and just keep looking forward to the future.

Until I have another free minute,

Cee

2 weeks down..

Two weeks into this deployment! I have been very blessed to be able to email every other day, if not everyday. This will all change soon, but for now it is wonderful! I have 3 weeks of classes and 3 days of finals and summertime will be here!

Today I got a break from work and studying to hang out with some amazing friends and see Ke$ha for free!

All I have to say is she is a nut and I love everything about her and her music. It was for one super nice outside! It was about 70 degrees and we were all a hot mess. Got to bust out a new dress, while obviously a few of my friends repped Ke$ha, wearing neon and craziness.

 

Today I watched "Coming Home" for the first time. I am in love. The show is so amazing. I cried the entire time, but happy tears. I forgot how happy homecomings are, and I have taken for granted how hard deployments are when there are so many families and children that go through missing their parents for many many months. Not that I don't miss B a ton and love the homecomings, I do not have it nearly as bad. I am blessed to have such an amazing support system too that helps me get through all of it.

Until Next time,

Truely Blessed

I am truly blessed. I am blessed to have such an amazing life. I am blessed to have some of the greatest friends in the world. I am blessed to have such a supportive family and home life. I am blessed to have such a courageous man in my life, who is fighting for our freedom as we speak. I am blessed. 

Today as I was walking home from the library, freezing cold (because it is still under 40 degrees in April), I realized all of this. I feel horrible that I have not noticed this before. I had such an amazing weekend off from work and got to celebrate with some wonderful friends. It is always nice to let loose and enjoy a night off. We have 4 weeks of classes left and one week of finals. Summer can not come quick enough. And once again, I have been blessed with amazing opportunities in my career field and I will once again be working with kids and adults with disabilities. I am so excited for another amazing, learning experience - while getting to do something I love.

As for now, I am petal to the metal with work and classes. Busy keeping in touch with my marine and brainstorming up some great package ideas!

Until Next time,

And we are off!

I have been in such a mood since B's last phone call at the beginning of the week (and it is only Thursday). Not even one week down. I forgot what it was like, but once reminded I remembered this feeling of emptiness. Even though we were typically 600 miles apart since school and where he is based, phone calls and skype sessions made everything easy. Plus our trips that we had often been making back and forth on weekends. Now it is just a waiting game. Next thursday marks one final year - due to the extension that was necessary to deploy once again. 

The first package is all packed up and ready to go, just need to make my way to the post office. With classes and work and life, I have had zero time to do anything. This is the first Easter we are spending apart since we started dating 5 years ago.

And if any of you are stuck in a mood because of the weather, I am right up your ally! Tomorrow is the first day of April and we here in lovely Pittsburgh, still have snow. For real! We have 4 weeks of classes and a week of finals and we are covered in snow. I am not a happy girl this week.

Soon enough everything will turn around....LET'S HOPE!

Until next time,

Deployment #2...check

Deployment was moved up. B and I are back together and happier than ever (minus the fact that there is a 10 month deployment in the way of us seeing each other). But in less than a year, he will be home and out of the USMC for good.

Please pray for B and the rest of the deployment as they travel for the next several months.

So for now, I am back in the countdown of when he will be coming home and I can run towards the buses to wrap my arms around him! After all, homecomings are the best part of the deployment...right?

Everything happens for a reason?

I have been so busy. My life has become a hot mess. As I said in my last post, B is getting deployed to Libya. . All I know is this deployment is going to be different than last deployment. So much more dangerous. So much longer. So much more alone.

We decided that we will no longer be together. We love each other. But we need to figure out own lives out, and then see where that takes us. We have been apart so long, we just learned to live with avoiding major parts of our lives. We learned to live without, yet with each other. We are going to see where this new road takes us. We are still going to keep in touch (as much as the USMC allows) throughout the next ten months. At the end of deployment, he then has a remaining 2 months in the marines and he can finally say SEE YA LATER and come one back home. We can see where we are in our lives and see where life takes us. I know this seems as if I am getting a 10 month "Hall Pass." Yet, it isn't. I could never. So then what are we? Basically our relationship is "on hold" for the next 10 months. I don't know what this means, or where it will take us.

So until then, I am going to stay positive. Enjoy the rest of this semester, summer, and fall. Figuring out where and what is going to happen for graduate school. Seeing where life takes me. Keeping a smile on my face.

Until next time, HAPPY 1st DAY OF SPRING!

Deployment #2

Friday AM, the bad news arrived! They moved what was supposed to be about a 7 month deployment to a 10 month deployment, and now they are leaving next month. Giving us one week to say our goodbyes, and they are off. Not to mention, it is to Libya! Seriously, of all places? Needless to say I will not be sleeping for the next 10 months, or however long they decide to keep them there. I am just besides myself, but I need to stay positive for him.

To be continued soon....

Breakdown

Tuesday is over, and the week is already ruined.  Steelers lost. I have slept on average 6 hrs a night at most. Seeing is that I am up at 2am and I have to be up at 630. I am already stressed. Already nervous. Already ready for summer break. Nothing makes me more nervous than my future. Thinking about how things are going to be in 330 days when B moves back home. Where I am going to be in school, will I be accepted into graduate school? If only there was a way we could time travel into the future, just to get the reassurance that life isn't that bad. To know that this last 11 months will fly by, and everything will go back to how it was 4 years ago when B first enlisted. I obviously feel for the other military spouses and girlfriends out there, just when I know the end is so close and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel - I just want it that much quicker. However, life doesn't work that way. So tonight, I had a breakdown. A breakdown that thank goodness B could attend to - at least via cellphone. He has been so busy with work-ups and just work in general for deployment we have not had much time to keep in touch and talk about the things going on in each other's lives. And everyone is getting all excited about Valentine's Day. My feelings = blah. This will be our 5th Vday. We have celebrated one. In my opinion, its nothing special. Just another day. We love our significant others every other day of the year to, right? However, I am not gonna put a damper on everyone who loves this holiday. Make the best of it this year (:

My plane ticket is booked and I am counting down the days until I board a plane to see B. I have 23 days and a whole lot of work to do between now an then. It is just wonderful to think about seeing him so soon, especially when the next time I will see him is going to possibly be Easter, but if not June and then December. BLAH = my feelings exactly. Thank goodness though for a shortish deployment. Shorter than last time and at least it has to do with him getting out and them not extending his contract or it would be much longer.

USMC I will be claiming my marine on JANUARY 6, 2012.

OOH-RAH!

Here we go!

Today will be a day full of black and yellow and gold and cheering!

Here we go Steelers, Here we go!

"Knockin on 7s door!"s

I'm Back

I have most definitely been MIA for the past few weeks. It is so hard to make time which absolutely stinks because this blog has been such a detressor and relief from the real world. I have kept up on reading other blogs so I am still in the loop. Classes started back up two weeks ago. I am taking 18 credits and as an Exercise Science major, it is not the easiest thing in the world. I have also been working everyday except for Tuesdays for the past two weeks as well, hence no time. 

This week has been just one of those weeks up until last night. You know the weeks where everything that can and will go wrong, does? B has been going through so much with the corps and just life in general, and it is so hard to be strong for him when I need to have a mental breakdown. He has 341 days  to go as of today! Of course we have plenty of work-ups and a 7 month deployment between now and then as well. It was a week full of tears -on both sides- and up until last night lots of uncertainties. B sometimes feels that it is not fair to me for him to be this far away and for him to put me through the things that he does. He just doesn't understand always that it is my decision, and 3 years ago, we knew exactly what we were getting ourselves into and I promised to see him through the 4 years and for the rest of our lives. He feels I deserve someone that can be here. He was recently diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression, which is another thing that breaks my heart. He is such a strong individual, and for him to come out and admit it has been a rocky road for the both of us. He had a 20 day leave back over the holiday and i think him being back home with his friends, family, and just living a "typical" life for those days made him realize everything that he can have back home. That was the first time in 3 years that he has been home for more than a week. It was an amazing, emotional 20 days though.

Is this normal to be going through all of these rocky roads? I look and see some military spouses and significant others seeming so happy. This is just a phase, right?

On the other hand, February is just around the corner, and as much as I usually do not look forward to Valentine's Day. For some reason, this year I am fairly excited about it.  B has not been able to make it home in the past, and this year it is going to be the same. But I am keeping an open mind, and hoping the next 341 days fly by. Not to mention to all of you football fans - The Steelers are going to the Superbowl! I went to the AFC Championship and I am so proud to say that I am from the amazing city of Pittsburgh. Despite all of the snow and rainy weather, it is such an amazing place to live and raise a family.

Until I have another free minute, HAPPY FRIDAY!

Enjoy the weekend (:

Day of Acceptance

‎"Embrace diversity. Educate your community. Empower each other. Love life.”

- 3E Love Founder, Annie Hopkins (1984-2009)

I have been so MIA lately. With classes starting back up and now working more hours at work, I have had barely anytime to relax, let alone sleep. I have had a cold to top it off! Work was canceled tonight due to the snow, so I will be catching up on much needed homework that has already been assigned and possibly a movie, but most definitely GRAY'S ANATOMY!

Happy Thursday (:

Where my B Spear's Fans At?

Who is excited for B Spears new single! Hold it against me! Have a listen. 

LOVE!

It's Official

B will most definitely be deploying this summer. Total bummer. Originally because how deployment fell, they were asking him to deploy and if he didn't extend then he wouldn't go. Easy enough - don't extend, don't go and get out 2 months early. Well that was in December, before his 20 day leave. He left on Wednesday to be back down to NC for Thursday AM. Thursday afternoon, orders are in. He is deploying and sending him home next December if he doesn't extend. REALLY? They could not find anyone else who could do his job the whole deployment. I understand he is manager of his shop and works his ass off, but they could bring another man aboard. Our luck, deployment is happening. Super bummed because he was supposed to be home for my 21st birthday and to celebrate the holidays next winter. Unfortunately, the marine corps had other plans for us and this is what we have to deal with. I shouldn't complain though. It could be worse. And as of the 6th of January, we now have less that one year left until he is done, done, and done! Then he will be moving back to Pittsburgh where we can finally start our lives TOGETHER.

I hope everyone has been having an amazing new year. I have been so busy with work and visiting with friends. I love being home but at the same time I cannot wait to go back to school next Saturday. Not to mention we have an extra long weekend because of the holiday on Monday (President's Day).

Tomorrow mom and I are making homemade pierogies! I cannot wait. I am so excited to do some real cooking and learn to make something that my grandmother and aunts used to make when they were younger. Bringing out the Polish side of me!

For all of you Britney Spears fans also --her new single comes out on Tuesday! WHAOOOO!

New Year.

I am so blessed for the life that I am living. I am thankful for all of the challenges, obstacles, and praises that have come into my life this past year. I have been so busy and out of the blogging world lately. So much working and visiting with family and friends. I cannot complain though because I would not have it any other way.

So here is to 2011. Working 3 jobs. Taking 18 credits and living up the rest of my junior year. Hopefully this semester with a 4.0, followed by this semesters 3.5. YAY!

HAPPY NEW YEAR. HAPPY 2011!

PS: Any of you Pittsburghians - The Winter Classic Starts Soon! Although PSU took a hit today, our Pens are ready for it! HERE WE GO!

Another Semester. DONZOOO!

In about 2 hours I will be done with my fall semester of junior year. One semester closer to graduating. One more semester closer to being a "real" grown-up. One more semester closer to B being home and out of the marine corp. I could not be more happy and thankful for everything that I have been through this semester. Working my butt off for good grades while juggling it between work, family, and my amazing friends. I am so excited to have a month off. I am so excited to see my family, friends, and B for a whole two weeks over the holiday!

Of course I start the weekend out great with working long shifts until Saturday night where I will be going to the Nutcracker in Pittsburgh with my mom and Riley and anxiously awaiting B's return back to PA. STEELER GAME on Sunday! A long week of double shifts, and then the WONDERFUL christmas holiday!

So HAVE A WONDERFUL THURSDAY!

Love is in the Air

Maybe it is just this time of year, or maybe I am just in a love mood. With one week almost to the minute of when I am done with my finals, and fall semester of junior year is over - all I can think about is being home with amazing friends, family, and the love of my life! Last year our holiday was cut short with getting home from one deployment, and getting immediately deployed out again when the earthquake happened in Haiti. YIKES! So this year, we are living it up to the fullest! B is coming home on Saturday the 18th, and we are starting it out right with a nice evening in the city -ice skating, riding the incline, and having a good dinner. I am so excited! And we are going to the Steeler Game the 19th which is one tradition we had to break last year due to the deployments. We decided to go to NYC for New Year's this year too. I am so excited to just kick back and relax (and work of course) without a care for school for about a month! I feel so blessed to have such an amazing life and family to go home too. Especially with everyone home this year for Christmas.

Also we just got word, that B potentially is not going to get deployed, not having to extend his contract and getting out in the early fall! Such amazing news to wake up to yesterday, although it is not official - to not have to go through another deployment, missed holiday seasons, missed 21st birthday, and just a long 7 months of missing him. So we are still waiting on confirmation, but I am not getting my hopes up to high, because things never go the way we want or plan.

So wherever you are the next week or so, STAY WARM! Enjoy the loads of snow we are getting and take advantage of it and go skiing or boarding! I am taking B for the first time this winter and I am so excited to start yet another tradition.

HAPPY THURSDAY!

Remember

Remember all those who have fought for this country yesterday/today, and all those lost 69 years ago in the Pearl Harbor attack! Americans are a free people, who know that freedom is the right of every person and the future of every nation. The liberty we prize is not America's gift to the world; it is God's gift to humanity

-G.W. BUSH

It's Beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

I have been so busy lately with school and work and observing for grad school, I am so ready for a break and for this semester to be over. Thank goodness this is our last week of classes, leaving only finals the week to follow. It has been snowing non-stop since Sunday morning, we have already like 3 inches and its not gonna stop until at least tomorrow evening. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love the snow and what it has to offer, but Slippery Rock, Pennsylvania does not tend to keep the roads and sidewalks cleared, making it really annoying to walk or drive anywhere without being snow covered! We decorated our tree last week here at school! It is so pretty!

(although this picture does not give it any justice)

This weekend I spent Friday with amazing friends, it was so nice to be together one last time before it gets super crazy with finals and just life in general. Of course I worked all day Saturday and Sunday, so I went home for some home-cooked food on Saturday. And my mom wanted to do our xmas card (yes we are that family), haha so here is one of the photos on the card!

(Cooper-the boxer- was not having our little photo shoot)

So have an amazing week! Stay safe and warm if you are in the Western PA area - or anywhere the weather is changing! Happy Monday!

Thanksgiving Break

 Thanksgiving break finally arrived! I am so excited to be at home with my family and friends. Not to mention it just means 3 more weeks until the end of the semester. B is coming home tomorrow for the holiday. I am so blessed at how much we got to be with each other this month. It will just make up for the amount of work-ups that we will be doing the next few months prior to deployment. We are running a 5K in Pittsburgh, called the Turkey Trot, Thanksgiving morning. I am thrilled to have B by my side for this race. He has never gotten to run with me and he was super excited when he finally realized he would be home. 

The next few days will be full of family visits, friend time, and spending a few days celebrating and being thankful for all that we have with the love of my life. (and somehow squeeze in work everyday and a ton of homework due next week)

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVE!

Last Project Before Break

We got assigned a project in my Adapted Aquatics class where we have to design a facility (no limits on cost or size) that has all types of up to date and state of the art equipment. So what I was thinking was a facility for military families. The best thing is that it is made for everyone! It will have tons of adapted equipment and therapeutic pools that can help aid injured men and women back to their best possible health. So where do you all come in?

I need ideas! Of course this is just a project, I wont actually be building the facility. But if you could dream anything that would help out others or injured I would love to have your ideas!

Today is the last day of classes before break! I could not be more ready for this break. I am so excited to see family, friends, and of course the love of my life!

Happy  Monday!