Friday, January 28, 2011

I'm Back

I have most definitely been MIA for the past few weeks. It is so hard to make time which absolutely stinks because this blog has been such a detressor and relief from the real world. I have kept up on reading other blogs so I am still in the loop. Classes started back up two weeks ago. I am taking 18 credits and as an Exercise Science major, it is not the easiest thing in the world. I have also been working everyday except for Tuesdays for the past two weeks as well, hence no time. 
This week has been just one of those weeks up until last night. You know the weeks where everything that can and will go wrong, does? B has been going through so much with the corps and just life in general, and it is so hard to be strong for him when I need to have a mental breakdown. He has 341 days  to go as of today! Of course we have plenty of work-ups and a 7 month deployment between now and then as well. It was a week full of tears -on both sides- and up until last night lots of uncertainties. B sometimes feels that it is not fair to me for him to be this far away and for him to put me through the things that he does. He just doesn't understand always that it is my decision, and 3 years ago, we knew exactly what we were getting ourselves into and I promised to see him through the 4 years and for the rest of our lives. He feels I deserve someone that can be here. He was recently diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression, which is another thing that breaks my heart. He is such a strong individual, and for him to come out and admit it has been a rocky road for the both of us. He had a 20 day leave back over the holiday and i think him being back home with his friends, family, and just living a "typical" life for those days made him realize everything that he can have back home. That was the first time in 3 years that he has been home for more than a week. It was an amazing, emotional 20 days though.

Is this normal to be going through all of these rocky roads? I look and see some military spouses and significant others seeming so happy. This is just a phase, right?

On the other hand, February is just around the corner, and as much as I usually do not look forward to Valentine's Day. For some reason, this year I am fairly excited about it.  B has not been able to make it home in the past, and this year it is going to be the same. But I am keeping an open mind, and hoping the next 341 days fly by. Not to mention to all of you football fans - The Steelers are going to the Superbowl! I went to the AFC Championship and I am so proud to say that I am from the amazing city of Pittsburgh. Despite all of the snow and rainy weather, it is such an amazing place to live and raise a family.

Until I have another free minute, HAPPY FRIDAY!

Enjoy the weekend (:

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