Thursday, September 30, 2010

Bad 3s?

Ever have one of those days? Absolutely nothing goes right?  I was to exhausted to get out of bed this morning, but I did.  I couldn't miss another class.  I had an 8am A&P quiz that I needed to ace!  So I get up at 6:15 to come downstairs to relax and make some breakfast.  I put on my cup of coffee, look over into the sink and there is a centipede! A nice big one too!  Of course, I freak out and run back into my room, change my clothes, brush my teeth, and run out the front door.  Needless to say, I DO NOT LIKE BUGS.  So I went to Sheetz, (for all of you not from Western PA - its a gas station & semi-fast food restaurant - basically 100% amazing!).  I got a nice coffee and breakfast sandwich.  Then off to class way to early!  I get out of my car and run to class in the pouring rain.  I sit and study and review everything that will be on my quiz.  I feel confident!  B texts me and tells me that he hit a pothole and got a flat tire! I feel horrible, he has such bad luck sometimes.  So another bad thing, right?  And so they say bad luck comes in threes.  So we are sitting in lab looking over Sheep hearts - YES I GOT TO HOLD AND LOOK AT A SHEEP HEART!  It was great and relaxing to just be so into something so intense.  So I get ready to go, oh and my keys aren't there.  Yeah, #3 I left them in my car.  Thinking I locked them there, I run out in the rain to my car and thankfully I left the front door unlocked and the keys were in the ignition. Super dumb? Absolutely!  

So as of now, I am going to sit in my living room and listen to the rain.  Possibly make some chicken alfredo before work and study for another exam tomorrow.  And I will hope that bad things end at three so that I am safe for the rest of this rainy day!

Do you believe that bad things come in sets of three?

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Be the Change you Wish to See in the World

So you want to change the world?  Here is a little help from my friend Ghandi.  Don't forget to "Be the change you wish to see in the world." - Ghandi

1. Know that all significant change throughout history has occurred not because of nations, armies, governments and certainly not committees. They happened as a result of the courage and commitment of individuals. People like Joan of Ark, Albert Einstein, Clara Barton, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Edison and Rosa Parks. They might not have done it alone, but they were, without question, the change makers.
2. Believe that you have a unique purpose and potential in the world. It's not so much something to create as to be discovered. And it's up to you to discover it. Believe that you can and will make a difference.
3. Recognize that everything you do, every step you take, every sentence you write, every word you speak-or DON'T speak--counts. Nothing is trivial. The world may be big, but there are no small things. Everything matters.
4. To be the change you want to see in the world, you don't have to be loud. You don't have to be eloquent. You don't have to be elected. You don't even have to be particularly smart or well educated. You do, however, have to be committed.
5. Take personal responsibility. Never think "it's not my job". It's a cop-out to say, "What can I do, I'm only one person." You don't need everyone's cooperation or anyone's permission to make changes. Remember this little gem, "If it's to be, it's up to me."
6. Don't get caught up in the how of things. If you're clear on what you want to change and why you want to change it, the how will come. Many significant things have been left undone because someone let the problem solving interfere with the decision-making.
7. Don't wait for things to be right in order to begin. Change is messy. Things will never be just right. Follow Teddy Roosevelt's timeless advice, "Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."
8. The genesis for change is awareness. We cannot change what we don't acknowledge. Most of the time, we aren't aware of what's wrong or what's not working. We don't see what could be. By becoming more aware, we begin the process of change.
9. Take to heart these words from Albert Einstein--arguably one of the smartest change masters who ever lived: "All meaningful and lasting change starts first in your imagination and then works its way out. Imagination is more important than knowledge."
10. In order for things to change, YOU have to change. We can't change others; we can only change ourselves. However, when WE change, it changes everything. And in doing so, we truly can be the change we want to see in the world.

Special Thanks to

Until I have another free minute,

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Love Letters

B has been having a rough time recently. He still has 16 months left of his enlistment. I live over 600 miles away. Most, if not all of the marines that he was close with have gotten out within the past 6 months. So it leaves him, being older than most in his unit and having all the new kids come. He has never had a problem fitting into a crowd, or even making new friends. I used to joke with him at the end of the day, if he had "made any new buddies." His roommate got out in May, and just this week had gotten another one. His best friend got out in January, and a few other of his close friends got out this spring. They went through two years together, and it is hard to imagine or deal with new people coming and going all of the time. I understand that it is what they do, but its lonely. I want to be there so badly too. Sometimes I wish that I went to school down near Jax so that I could be with him more and have a feeling of home for him. I wish that I could help him out or be there to come home to at the end of a bad day. So because I cannot, and I am dealing with everyday struggles of being a Junior in college, hoping to make my way into OT School I decided to write. It is the least I can do, since I already feel like a total fail of a girlfriend. I am writing love letters at least once a week. He got his first one in the mail yesterday, and just hearing his voice on the phone I could tell things were going to start looking up. I do not think that he hates the Marine Corps. I think that he would and will reenlist if I was nearby. To live over 600 miles away from everything that you have known your entire life, and to deal with shit that you need to do everyday in a typical Marine's life - It has to be draining and lonely. He also moved his room last week, and this new room gets even worse reception and horrible internet connection. Talk about bad luck on the poor guy. So these letters are memories and wannabe future memories together. They are there to make him think about all the amazing things in life that he has forgotten about.

Have you ever written your military man a love letter?

Thursday, September 23, 2010

It's that time of the year

It is officially fall again and my favorite time of year. The leaves are changing. Pumpkin spice creamer is always in the fridge. A pumpkin spice or apple cider candle is always being burnt. It is such a great time of year. And as much as I would rather be on a beach some place down south, western Pa has is one of the most beautiful places to be in the fall. It is a state where we actually feel and see all four seasons. It makes me fantasize about the wedding I have always dreamt about. About my cream colored dress with a brown ribbon. Walking down the aisle in a barn, with all different colored leaves on the trees in the background. Brown, reds, and oranges as the colors of the flowers on the table. I imagine it much prettier then it is explained. As I walked to class today, it was 90 degrees which is totally ridiculous for the 2nd day of fall. But tomorrow life and the weather will be back to normal. WIth highs in the 60s and lows in the 40s, so that at night we can wear sweatshirts and sit by bonfires and sip on pumpkin spice flavored coffee.

So enjoy your first weekend of fall because it is an amazing time of year.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Rough start

The past few days have been such a drag. I am so unmotivated for school. I love my classes and the information that we are learning. It is intense and about the body so its wonderful! Although, the lack of motivation is putting a huge damper on things. I miss Bryan a lot lately. The closer and closer we get to him getting out, the more and more I just want to be with him everyday. I want to come home to him at the end of the day, and wake up with him in the morning. I just hate that I can not have the one I want. I have him sparingly. Phone calls and skyping can only do so much. It has honestly made me kinda depressed. I just feel blah day after day. I get nervous for the future more and more. When I am the one controlling it as of now, but without motivation and without Bryan at home, I just do not have the willpower. Which is horrible, because I have gained so much strength from him not being around. I love him for that so much, but to have him home in PA or wherever we decide to live or I go to grad school. If I could just fast-forward a few years, I think I would be content. Even 18 months - which used to be 14, but then he had to add a few months on and extend for the next deployment, so we are back up a few months. It is typical though.

However, this weekend when I thought I was going to get away at work and spend time with some of the campers who really change my life. Something happened that was totally unpredictable, unbelievable, and still unreal. One of the campers just did not wake up. She just died. Right there at The Woodlands Foundation. But we kept it cool, and the campers did not find out. We kept our cool so that they could still have an amazing weekend with the rest of the campers who look forward to coming every month. I found her toiletries when I was cleaning the unit at the end of the weekend and I took them down to the office, only to start crying because I saw her chair and her little purple purse that she always had on her. I did not go in the room the morning of the death. I do not deal well with seeing people that way for the last time. I didn't do it with my grandmother, or my friend Lacey who passed away at the end of Junior Year. I could not look. But I remember all the great times we had. She was such a strong person.

So for now, that is just another thing that I need to keep working through and gaining strength form. I hope I find some motivation soon. I miss my hard work and my dedication.


Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Another good ol' Ninety-Six

After another amazing weekend, mine is still going on. Luckily, my schedule worked out that I don't work and I do not have class on Tuesdays. Therefore, my weekend that I do not want to end - is still happening. So I am taking full advantage of it, I made a creme-brulee flavored coffee, popped in season 3 of one tree hill, and for the next hour or so I plan on vegging out on the couch. Just until reality kicks in and I remember that I have to go to the library for some studying that I have been putting off since Friday. Oh - and that the fitness classes at our gym are starting back up, so I am going to take full advantage of those.

Anyways, back to my amazing weekend. Changed plans on Thursday & Bryan decided to come home instead of me traveling down to Jacksonville. As much as I love getting away from the "sticks" of Slippery Rock, Pennsylvania, it is so nice to have Bryan come home into the lives that we used to live. It was so nice to wake up at home (my house in SRU) and going home to our parents houses and visiting with friends that we have not seen in ages. It is so much nicer to have him come home and jump right back into the swing of OUR lives, and let his escape for a little from his military life. He was supposed to get in on Friday around 830ish and we were going to out with some friends around town. Of course, Bryan has fantastic skills with directions and he ended up driving through Gettysburg which caused him to get home around 2am. Needless to say, dinner was cold and we didn't go out. But I wouldn't have had it any other way...because this is the way we do things. Fashionably Late & To The Extreme. On Saturday, once we finally woke up, I had a ton of studying to do & needed to go for a run. I love that when he is home I have a running buddy. So after literally bumming around all day long, we finally made some dinner with friends and cracked open a few bottles of wine. It was such a fun evening, and to finally have Bryan here being around my friends. We took his "slap the bag" Virginity. I love when I get to take my marine out to do college things that he may or may not ever get to experience. We all know marines like their alcohol, but they don't ever get the experience or play the games we all love so much.

Sunday was a day with the families. We went to the zoo with my family and had an amazing time. I love when Bryan gets to be around my family. My little sister is absolutely in love with him. They are adorable together, like baby sister and older brother. It makes me so happy how great and adorable he is with little kids! We then rushed over to visit with his family. We had a cookout and a little bonfire and I finally got to meet his little sister's boyfriend. Yes, they are only juniors in high school, but that is when Bryan and I started dating. So I see the potential and it makes me happy. We then went over to a friends and drank some Coke & Rum and Long Island IceTeas. We played cards and just hung out like we did when we were in high school. It was so nice to just be ourselves and forget about the lives that we actually are living. To bitch about life and complain about their fantasy football drafts and hear them say things about how much their friendships mean to each other. It was such a great night!

LABOR DAY! We got to spend the morning at Bryan's grandmothers and visit with his aunt and dad. We played cards - because that is what we always do. He has such a loving and accepting family and I feel so welcomed around them. Even when I sometimes see them once every 7 months or even when I see them every other weekend. We can still be close and amazing. We then went to dinner at my house. BBQ Chicken! My request of course. My favorite meal with some of my favorite people. We got to visit and hang out at my parents house - which by the way I miss being at all the time, since I am the only one who does not live there anymore. We then came back home and had a great night talking and just laughing about everything. Until at 4 am, when he had to leave and head back home to J'ville. The time where the right side of the bed got really cold. The time where I laid there awake, hoping he would turn around and head back to the house for one last kiss. But this is our lives - the lives we are choosing to live. So I deal with it, as we all do. So I hope all of you had the same amazing weekend that I got to have and you are looking forward to having another 96 and weekend away from life.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Just a little something to leave ya with

Go CONFIDENTLY in the direction of your dreams, live the life you imagined.

-Henry David Thoreau

Survival of Junior Year

Well I survived the first week of Junior year, and already the first weekend is not what I planned it be. Since Sunday night before classes, I have been waiting for labor day weekend to arrive so that I could make another trip down to what basically is my second home - Jacksonville, North Carolina. However, Mother Nature had other plans for me. The hurricane was hitting and to drive down there only to be stuck in a hotel room all weekend while it rains. There already is not anything to do in that down, let alone when it rains. I was looking forward to going to the beach one last weekend, but plans change. Bryan is currently on his way home so at least I still get to see him!

Back to the school year though, I have two years left of undergrad. It is so crazy to see how quickly the time is flying by. Taking 300 and 400 level classes really makes me seem and feel grown up. I got graduate school information today too. Which really made me realize that within the next year I will be taking the GREs and applying to graduate school. Hopefully moving down to St. Augustine, FL for a few years to live and take the next step of both my educational and life career. As of now, the hopes and plans are that I get accepted into St. Augustine for Occupational Therapy for the Master's Program. Then once I graduate from there, I can go back and get my Doctorate while I am working. But life has its curves and twists, and things always come for now that is what I will plan on doing. And whatever life throws my way, I will suck it up and keep trucking alone - thats how I got this far anyways, isn't it?

I have one major thing to thank for all of this though. I would never in a million years think that this is what I would be thanking either - The USMC. Without Bryan being in the marines, I would have never had the self-determination and drive to do what I want in life. I would have never thought that something that has taken so much from me, has given me so much - motivation, inspiration, and desire. To know that I can always have more, and will always be able to do more as long as I keep dreaming. To know that the marines has made me fall in love with someone, so much harder then when we first met four years ago. So for all of you who are starting a new semester, or just a new beginning. Keep dreaming.

"The difference between impossible and possible lies in the person's determination" -Tommy Lasorda